Lynne Henderson’s Private Practice |
Dr. Lynne Henderson’s work with shyness is based in her private practice in psychotherapy focused on self-concept.
This includes
- Individual work: working one-on-one in privacy
- Group work: interacting with a small number of others on shared issues
- Interleavedwork: group and individual session are interleaved to provide the advantages of both
This takes place
- Berkeley office: in the East Bay
- on the street: exercises in the community
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i am a very shy person.i feel so uncomfortable in parties and gatherings.i really wish that i am so friendly to others but i can’t.i really want to overcome this because i don’t want to live a boring life like this.
please help me to overcome this.
I can imagine how hard this is. I wrote a book called Improving Social Confidence and Reducing Shyness Using Compassion Focused Therapy that is available for Kindle on Amazon. You can also contact the Wright Institute in Berkeley for counseling on a sliding scale. For more information on how to begin, please call: (510) 548-9716.
When you feel like this it can be helpful to consult a therapist. They can guide you in taking small steps to reach your goals and help you talk to yourself in kind and motivating ways.
I am a shyness people. I am very nervous when I communicate with people ,but I eager to communicate with them. Because of it,I often lose the chance to make friends with them. I really want to make a change.
You can contact your county or state psychological association and ask for referrals to therapists who treat shyness and social anxiety disorder. You can find your association using your web browser. There are usually lower fee services provided by students in training or beginning therapists. If you call your county psychological association they often can provide information regarding how to contact them. You may also ask a therapist if they do provide lower fees on the basis of need. Many do. Also, look for group psychotherapy because it can be really helpful and is cheaper. It helps the social anxiety to be with others who struggle with the same issues. You can see how they are nice people and underneath can have the same negative thoughts and worries that you do. You also get a chance to make friends in the group.
Hey, i’m a dancer since 8 years now. I would really like to do it professionally but my shyness is always staying between me and my goal. I’m really afraid of staying in class and looking akward or perform bad. When i have to dance in a small group or as a solo i poorly can look up or watch myself in the mirror. Sometimes i’m afraid of even to dance big, because i dont want to pay that much attention. A month ago i cancelled my contract at the dance school i used to go and now i train only by myself. I feel really sad about not being able to share my passion with other people. In addition because of my shyness my progress as dancer was really slow, because i couldn’t give erverything in class. People who started later with dance became really good in a short period of time and had caught up with me, which made me not believing in myself anymore. Sometimes i feel so much depressed that i barely can eat or sleep. When i watch dance videos of myself where i messed up or looked awkward i feel a lot of pain and tiredness. Besides of dance i’m able to talk to people normally or be friendly, but really opening up is impossible.Sometimes i dont know how to laugh in front of other people or being funny. When i’m with my family i feel embarrassed or awkward hugging my parents. I forgot my mother language because i always didn’t dare to use it. Thats why i cant communicate with my grandma as well.
I have a really good friend but im pooring him down with my problems and he doesnt really feel empathic about it because hes the quite opposite of me…
I always thought i can handle it on my own but time is passing and only small progress is seen.
I would be happy if u can help me !
You can contact your county or state psychological association and ask for referrals to therapists who treat shyness and social anxiety disorder. You can find your association using your web browser. There are usually lower fee services provided by students in training or beginning therapists. If you call your county psychological association they often can provide information regarding how to contact them. You may also ask a therapist if they do provide lower fees on the basis of need. Many do. Also, look for group psychotherapy because it can be really helpful and is cheaper. It helps the social anxiety to be with others who struggle with the same issues. You can see how they are nice people and underneath can have the same negative thoughts and worries that you do. You also get a chance to make friends in the group. I also wrote a book called Improving Social Confidence and Reducing Shyness Using Compassion Focused Therapy. It gives you lots of tips and strategies. It is being converted to a workbook now which will come out in 2021. The important thing is not to withdraw and give up. That leads to depression and more inertia. Hang in there and keep doing what you love. You are having then negative automatic thoughts that are common with shyness. In fact, everyone has negative automatic thoughts. Try to focus on what you love about dancing and do your best. Try not to compare yourself with others. You dance because you love it and it gives you energy. You had the courage to comment here, so we know you have courage to continue to do what you love and be with others.
Respected Madam,
I am Azma Shah, an undergraduate psychology student from the Institute of professional psychology, Bahria University, Karachi, Pakistan. I am studying in the 4th semester in Bachelors in Psychology program.
I and my group members are conducting research on ” Shyness in government college students vs. shyness in private college students. As we are in the 4th semester in Bachelors’s program, we aren’t trained to make our own questionnaire. Can you please let us use your Henderson/Zimbardo Shyness questionnaire so we can get reliable results in our research?
I hope you will understand and accept our request.
Regards,
Azma Shah
You may use it. Let me know what you find.
Best,
Lynne
Hi Dr. Henderson,
Thank you for putting this resource together for us.
Do you offer (or know of any organization/provider) who provides shyness/social anxiety support groups?
Best,
Rose
Often the best way to look for groups is to consult a therapist to see if they know of anyone doing shyness groups. You can also call your county psychological association to ask for psychologists who do shyness/social anxiety groups. Often therapists have list serves where they can ask for referrals to therapists doing groups.
Do you know of any resources for CBT based group therapy? Specifically for people with the ‘Quiet Subtype’ of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Dear Anna,
I don’t know of resources for that issue. We are primarily focused on shyness, social anxiety and avoidance.
Thanks for asking,
Lynne